Breakdown

Sunday, 7 July 2019


Tbh, I've had a breakdown for the past few days. It is something that one could not explain. The feelings, the inferiority, those mixed feelings that no one can ever understand. I am just gonna be frank and blunt here as I know I am not the only who is suffering from such inner complications. At least you'll know that you're not alone in this. These breakdowns, these negative feelings is a no joke. It can either be a lot or reasons or no reason at all that it is just you and yourself.

A good friend once said, you deserve to have those feelings. You own it and it's yours to feel. No one else deserve it as much as you do. But don't let it take over your life negatively. Learn from it. You'll be stronger each time. 

It happens from time to time. You've never want it but it keeps coming back to you anyway. No sign and no advance alert, it just happened. I really am sorry for posting something so negative but in any other way I am trying to encourage other people to fight it along with me. I know I'm not the only one (Sam Smith song playing inside my head) going through this.

It has been hard but I am thankful to the support that I've gained from all around me. It really helps. Let me tell you this. It's okay to be down and under but make sure you come back stronger. I noticed that I feel much better after ranting and saying everything out loud instead of keeping it solely to myself. And the next day I would feel much better.

What I'd do?


I'd spent some time alone, just having a 'ME' time is enough. But sometime I'd love to have company too. It depends. But recently I prefer to play with my cats, went out for a drive, watch movies at the cinemas, bought myself my favourite coffee (I don't really drink coffee and prefer latte instead) and just simply went out for a fresh air.

From this point onwards I promise myself to be better and to do better. While I was at it, I looked outside and all around me. Taking notes of whatever possible so that I could learn and remind myself on so many grateful things that I've had in life. Reminiscing back all the reasons that I have and was given to live the life I am living right now.

That is all I have to write for now. Have a good day everyone. Take good care of yourself.

Comments

  1. Kak Sha tengah breakdown juga nie.. Tak pastilah kenapa kali ini emosi betul-betul tak stabil..
    Walaupun melalui kehidupan macam biasa.. cuba buat perkara yang disukai namun masih ada perasaan tergumpal di hati yang tak terlepas.. membaca pun dalam keadaan paksaan sekarang ini.. huhuhu..

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    1. I hope you'll be fine soon akak. In shaa Allah.

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  2. Hope everything is well, Ray :)

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    1. Thank you so much. I hope you are doing fine too. May Allah bless you ^^

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  3. Fatina pun tengah berada dalam situasi itu sekarang and I'm trying hard to push all this away. I hope everything is going to be fine on you, Ray :)

    Fatina Mudz || Amazing Distance

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    1. I do hope things will get better for you too. in shaa Allah. Aamiin. take care okay both physically and mentally. May Allah ease everything for you.

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  4. same here :'((( every night mmg perasaan mcm ni akn muncul. i just dont know what to do utk buang perasaan ni. setiap mlm nangis smpai tertidur.
    i hope everything will be ok for all of us >3

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    1. Ameen ya robb. Thank you for the prayers. I feel you. I really do. I hope you'll be okay too my dear.

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  5. kena thinks positif selalu. Kena banyakkan Me Time. Semoga urusan Ray dipermudahkan. Aamiin...

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    1. Aamiin. thank you so much. trying my best to overcome it. take care akak

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  6. harap semua nya akan ok nnti ya....

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    1. Aamiin. thank you so muchhh. I hope you are doing okay too

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  7. hope everything going well after this. doa banyak

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    1. I'm feeling better now. thank you so muchhhh

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  8. Don't let the negative energy ruins your day :)

    Be happier!

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    1. Thnk you for your kind words. I hope you're doing good too. ^^

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  9. same hereee. but then, bangkit balik and buat aktivit yang kita rasa boleh happykan diri .

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    1. samaaaaaaa. I'm enjoying the things i love as long as i can. and i'm feeling so much better!

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  10. It's okay to feel down because we're all humans who have feelings. I hope you have a nice rest and enjoy playing with your cat. Cats are seriously one of the healing creatures that would make you smile :)

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    1. Awwww thnk you so muchhh. Yep I am spending most of my time playing with my cats. and recently we adopt new cats and it's even better. I had so much fun playing with them these days.

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  11. last week i cried. yesterday i also cried. today i cried too. but it is all a part of the process. this time i got a new lesson which feelings are supposed to be felt. stop forcing it from been expressed. sadness, anger, worries and other feelings are not made for no purpose. we got this, ray =)

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    1. fighting!!!!!! we can do this. i'll be rooting for you from here too.

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  12. Keep strong ray. InsyaAllah ray kuat 💪

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    1. hi kak husniey. thnk you so muchhhh.

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  13. "jika tiada bahu untuk bersandar, masih ada lantai untuk bersujud..."

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  14. Lama tak datang sini. Blog Ray dah baru lagi. Have a good day too and take care. Be happy anyway anyhow.

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    1. welcome back. hehe found one that suits my taste best so yeahh. thank you so much yaaaaa.

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  15. Rabia pun skrg emosi tak stabil because nk exam dh
    Setiap kali nak exam otak bercelaru

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  16. long time no visit this blog... hi!

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  17. Take care Ray.. don't stress ok

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    1. thank you akak. lama ray x singgah blog akak

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  18. may ALLAH ease everything for you, take care of yourself. if you need someone to chat with or share your feelings just dm me ya. be happy please :)

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    1. awww thank you. i'm grateful for that. i had fun while dm'ing you about animes tho XD. yayyy

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  19. Spending your time alone is good but too much of it can cause depression so it is good that you get out for some fresh air or a cup of coffee. We all went through this phase every once in a while. We are human and I hope it won't be for too long. We're here for you Ray.

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    1. you never fail to amaze me with your words. thank you tqa darling. in shaa Allah everything is gonna be okay. i hope you are doing well too.

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  20. Hope your emotions have recovered now.

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    1. thank youuuuuuu. i'm doing a lot better now. Alhamdulillah

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  21. hi kak ray, i hope you're doing fine. i'm waiting for the upcoming post from you chaiyokk~~

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    1. That is so sweet of you. I'm working on a few things now. In shaa Allah there'll be a new post soon. Thank you my dear.

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  22. may everything going well for you.. keep it strong! :)

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  23. Every time I feel down, I tried my best to find someone to actually talk to, sometimes my mom, or if I feel guilty to talk to anyone, I just talk to myself! hehe it's weird, I know. Since there were cats, maybe talk to the cats! Having pets are some sort of therapy without realizing it.

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    1. I definitely feel you. I've no words to say except for how much I understand those feelings. thank you so much for your words. i hope you are doing fine too.

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  24. moga semuanya baik baik saja...sometimes...we do need me time...

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  25. sometimes we need more space for us 'me time' :) long time no see ray

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    1. hiiii it has been a while right. i hope you're doing good too

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  26. saya sedang di fasa breakdown. saya sakitkan hati org yg saya sayang, saya menyesal dan rasa bersalah. kawan baik saya yg saya selalu share smua benda kat dia pun berpaling arah dri saya. dah seminggu saya tak keluar rumah, bersosial dengan kawan2, asyik sedih, kurang makan smpai berat turun, terbaring je kerjanya. rasa macam my life was messed up. rasa cam saya ni teruk sangat

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    1. I felt so bad for you. Please get better soon. I hope you'll come back stronger and semoga dapat cari jalan penyelesaian untuk semua masalah tu. May Allah ease everything for you and heals your broken heart. We are all here for you too.

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  27. I know it's cliche but turn to God. Cry to Him. I'm having a hard time right now and honestly during prayer was the only period I feel at ease without thinking about what happened. Though, it came back again later, tehee. But it helps. Stay strong, Ray.

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    1. Thank you so much !!! I'm really thankful for your kind words. May Allah bless you

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  28. it is okay to feel down. but, keep ur head up and stay strong! follow here #496

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    1. Yayyyy thank you for following back. that makes me happy too

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  29. we all human, not perfect. it's okay to feel down and wanna cry. we all here for you to rant anything, head up girl :)

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    1. thank you so much for your soothing words. I hope you're doing good too. i'm feeling better thanks to you guys too. Alhamdulillah.

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  30. hi ray! Blogwalking here, you still have time till this night to join my giveaway. ^^

    https://beehaazman19.blogspot.com/2019/07/first-giveaway-by-anis-beeha.html?showComment=1564797795558#c3885727324651408056

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  31. i agree with you wholeheartedly and tbh, this is what i have been doing for the past couple of years. it's liberating. what your friend told you is literally how i choose to handle my breakdown. there is nothing wrong feeling this way and i'm glad i found more peoples acknowledging this. love you dear and keep on writing!

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    1. i'm glad i open up to some people and it does makes me feel better. awwwwww thank you for always being so supportive. me love you too

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  32. Aww why ray.. mama doakan mendung ayhitam cecepat berlalu ye

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    1. a lot happened and i couldn't get a grip on it for quite a while. thank you mama. i do feel so much better now. Thanks to you guys too. Alhamdulillah

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  33. Reading this, i'm thinking if i even do it right and good just like you do. But then i also have another thought, i'm doing my best at my own pace. i'm envied and offended but also impressed and supported. we're all in the same war and we have our own part and group. my enemy is worthy to be fought and defeated by me with my own skills and strengths. and you have your own enemy. may the victory come to us! the war cry is still fierce. all the best! =)

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    1. Aamiin. it actually amazes me how you used all the words and make a sentence out of it.
      I really love the content that you shared in all my comments. I'm happy and so proud at the same time that I was able to read something well written here in my blog.
      I know you're fighting really hard in order to get through your days too, so keep on fighting!
      You'll make it sooner or later.
      all da best to us!

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  34. sesiapapun akan merasai breakdown dalam hidup mereka..termasuk saya

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    1. betul. we all are not excused from all these feelings.
      it's how life is.

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