Your Actions Defines You | Anxiety




Never once in my life, I thought that anxiety would actually haunt me. I thought I am safe from any panic attacks or depression. I thought I was okay but it turns out that I am not. Medically there was nothing wrong with my body but mentally I am totally out of it. It's breaking apart, it's torn apart and I am dying inside. I am trying to hide it. I did hide it well but the truth is I am barely hanging on.

Feelings are fact. And you are allowed to feel hurt.

Your Actions Defines You


What I'd love to emphasize here is please be good to people. If you don't have anything good to say, then don't utter a word. If you don't have any good intentions for other people, you better walk away and mind your own business. 

Fun fact


I wrote this post a year ago but I forgot to publish it. I've never really written about it since I am not ready to be so open about it but I am aware that not many are aware that this is so real. A lot of things happens that trigger me mentally. I thought it was a bad thing if people know the fact that I am suffering from severe anxiety but looking at it on the bright side, I was able to help those who experience and went through the same situation as I am once I open up to certain people. 

Let me tell you, there's still a lot of people who are unaware of these issues and they thought it's absurd to be feeling what you're feeling. Don't mind them and let them be. You deserve better. You're hurt and you're healing. Take your time and recover. 

I am doing better now and I'd love to thank everyone who helped go through it. It wasn't easy but at least I made it. 

Remember guys, your mental health is important and it matters.  

36 comments

  1. Anxiety ni dgrnya keturunan.. Tp x tau la.. Both my nephew mmg ada anxiety.. Arwah bapak dia pun major anxiety.. Mmg takut nak jumpa org.. Berkurung je dlm bilik.. Kurang konpiden..

    Harap2 sgt anak2 buah yg 2 org ni akan lawan anxiety diorg.. Kesian klu dh besar masih x kurang anxiety nya

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    1. I don't know about that. Not sure myself. But this issue tak asing dah cuma orang cakna atau tak je. Ada wujud di sekeliling kita cuma tak ketara. It can happen to anyone tak kira usia. Semoga dijauhkan la.

      I hope they will be able to overcome it one day but they're gonna need help. Semoga akak pun dapat bantu diorg to overcome it. In shaa Allah.

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  2. perlu dapatkan rawatan,sokongan dan kaunseling...atau apa-apa yang dirasakan membantu mengatasi masalah ini, macam saya,saya join support group..mungkin tak seratus peratus sembuh tapi sekurang-kurangnya ianya dapat meringankan sedikit masalah ni.

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    1. Thank you so much for the suggestions. I'm better these days and keeping it under control.

      Alhamdulillah I'm glad you're doing fine and better now. Glad that the support group is helpful. You're not alone okay. Stay well.

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  3. I go through hell with my mental health a lot this year. I learned that it's only us who can help our ownself but the reality is, it's so hard. And yeap, if we don't have anything good to say, better to not say anything as we don't know what our words could affect people. Our words, it's heavy. Anyway, wish for you to have better control of your anxiety. Stay healthy ya.

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    1. Alhamdulillah I was able to keep it under control and I am feeling so much better these days. Thanks to a lot of people with beautiful hearts. This experience thought me a lot of things. Exactly, it was never easy and took a lot out of us to get back on our own two feet.

      Please please please I hope you're doing better now. You're not alone. We'll get through this. May Allah ease everything for you and may all your beautiful and meaningful prayers goes back to you.

      Stay safe and take care.

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  4. I feel you dear. I have always been an anxious person since forever. I overthink and would hate it when things doesn't go as I planned. I never actually care to do anything about it until I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. Dari situ keadaan jadi teruk sampai kena jumpa doktor dan makan ubat. If things got worse, jangan takut nak dapatkan bantuan pakar. Sakit mental pun layak dapat treatment macam sakit lain jugak. Stay strong Ray. Semoga sihat selalu

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    1. It must've been so painful. *hugs* You're so strong akak and you're a fighter. I am so proud of you. I wish you well. I can't compare mine to yours but thank you so much for your words. Yes, betul sangat. There's no harm in getting treatments if you really need it.

      Semoga akak pun sihat selalu. Keep on fighting. You're not alone.

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  5. glad you're feeling better ray! ah sedihnya bila ingat saya anxiety teruk satu ketika dulu. pastu baca pulak comment dari ray panjang2 tu sampai menangis-nangis xD i still makan ubat lagi sekarang n insyaAllah tak lama lagi dh stop makan kot. cukup 2 tahun dapatkan nasihat kaunseling. Alhamdulillah, much better for now. Semoga kita sentiasa diberikan kesihatan dari segi mental dan fizikal

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    1. Ya Allah yeke. Kenapa baca komen Ray sampai nangis2. Ray salah tulis pape ke? I'm sorry that it made you cry 😭. I glad and so happy you're much better now too.

      Alhamdulillah thank you so much for your kind prayers. Let's get better soon. Please be well. Take your time and heal. Slowly but surely. You're not alone okay.

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    2. hahaha nangis sebab ayat yg ray bagi tu terharu sangat. masatu tengah rasa putus semangat, baca comments panjang2 dari readers yg bagi kata semangat terus rasa sebak TAT

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    3. Awwwwww Alhamdulillah. Syukur. Ray ingatkan apa la tadi. Takut la kalau ade tersalah cakap ke kan. I'm so happy that it helps you. You deserved more. May Allah bless you. *hugs

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  6. May Allah ease.. Pernah kena dulu. Campur depression dll. Sampai kena vertigo. Doctor suggested review lifestyle, attitude, food intake. Mmg sah2 lah semua nk perfect. Nak please others. Nak buat mcm org lain buat. Later tu, slowly take things easy, takde kalut2. Also kalau guna essential oil, ada eo yg tak sesuai dgn badan kita. Just sharing my experience.. Speedy recovery to you. Insya Allah ok semua soon.. Hugs..

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    1. Thank you so much. I am so happy that you are well now. Betul. Kene review semula lifestyle and clear our thoughts. It's not easy but you gotta keep on trying. There's always a reason why it happens. Alhamdulillah, I learned a lot of things from it so it's not entirely a bad thing. It's just a process, a long journey in life that you must adapt.💜

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  7. been experiencing this lately. penat lah kena benda ni and i simply i hate it. paling sakit hati bila org ckp kita ni mengada-ngada. ngada apa nya kalau dah tangan bergetar sampai sesak nafas. hmm. i pray that we all gonna be strong no matter what. x

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    1. Girl you're strong. You can get through this. Don't rush things and take your time to heal. It's okay to feel what you're feeling right now. It's your feeling we're talking about and it's important. They don't understand, don't mind them. You focus on yourself okay. You're precious.

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  8. I believe that we all of us suffer from anxiety at some point, life is so complicated. Let's stick together.
    Amalia
    xo

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    1. That is so sweet of you. Thank you so much. I believe so too. Everyone is battling it silently. No doubt. We all have our own concern and problems. Things will get better. I hope everyone will take their time, no rush and heal.

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  9. Saya tak pernah tahu tentang masalah mental sehingga la saya mengalami sendiri. Walaupun bukan anxiety, tapi depression. Depression tahap mana pun saya tak tahu sebab tak jumpa pakar. Alhamdulillah saya punyai kawan2 yang cukup support saya dan akhirnya berjaya juga keluar dari dunia ini. Rasa sakit sangat sebab hari2 menangis, jumpa orang luar pun taknak. Takda semangat, suka bersendirian padahal masa tu baru semester 1

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    1. Alhamdulillah that is great. Syukur. I am so happy and glad you made it. You have great friends there. May Allah bless them all. You're so strong. So proud of you!

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  10. I wish you all the best and comfort you can get :)

    And perhaps a hug from this stranger :)

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    1. awwwwwww

      *hugs virtually on a safe distance due to Covid.

      Thank you so much.

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  11. lamanya tak jenguk ray! mental health ni tak ramai yang aware lagi

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    1. Ray pun lama x jenguk your blog. I miss reading your contents.

      That is so true. Orang pandang remeh tau benda ni but not until the've experienced or being directly involved with it. People should really amik tahu pasal this. Be aware and don't judge easily.

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  12. dengan sharing boleh release sikit bebanan ray dan org lain pun boleh belajar dari ray.. tq for sharing dear

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    1. Betul mama. I learned it the hard way. But still, Alhamdulillah I am thankful for that.
      Thank you so much mama.

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  13. Anxiety silence killer for most people. So please take care okay. You need to calm down and stay postive

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    1. Couldn't agree more. Thank you so much akak.
      You too take care💜

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    2. Welcome dear ❤️❤️

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  14. Dont play2 with anxiety ray. Semoga ray baik2 saja.

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  15. I don't feel good with pkp because I've been stuck at home since last March 2020. Sedih. I need to do the anxiety test.

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    1. I feel you Rasya. Yeah just in case, try to do the Anxiety test. So, that you you know how's your mental healh is at the moment. At least you're know. I hope you'll feel better soon.

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